Aeris Home and Garden
by AerisRose
Summary: Aeris has her own little Martha Stewart show...


Comments or flaming? Email me at aeris_rose@gamespotmail.com

 

 

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Aeris Gainsborough Home and Garden: The TV Edition

 

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Aeris is standing outside a bright pink, fancy looking two-story house, with lush greenery

Surrounding a fancy looking sidewalk.

 

Aeris: Welcome to Aeris Gainsborough Home & Garden: The TV Edition! I'm your host,

Aeris Gainsborough. Today I'll show you how to make wholesome meals for friends and family!

Let's go!

 

Aeris walks into a very fancy looking kitchen.

 

Aeris: Today I would like to introduce my guest Tifa Lockhart!

 

Tifa walks onto the stage wearing a chef's hat and an apron with a big letter "L".

 

Aeris: What will we be making today, Tifa?

 

Tifa: Today I thought we should make waffles with rum and strawberries!

 

Aeris all of a sudden looks frightened, remembering Tifa's drinking problem.

 

Aeris: Are you sure that's a good idea? I told the audience we would be making wholesome

Meals for friends and family!

 

Tifa: Of course! No one can resist " Tifa's World Famous Strawberry and Rum Waffles"!

 

Aeris: Ok then. The recipe says....

 

Tifa: I don't need no stinkin' recipe!

 

Tifa throws the cookbook out the $400 stained glass window.

 

Tifa: I'm a chef, remember! Chefs DON'T need recipes!

 

Aeris: (Under her breath) Like men don't need directions.

 

Tifa walks into a fridge as big as a double-wide mobile home and comes out with flour, eggs,

3 big bottles of rum, milk, baking soda, salt, and some Crisco.

 

Tifa:( Starts singing to " Cheap Cheap the Cooking Chicken")

Crack crack crack the egg into the bowl….

 

Aeris: Tifa, what ARE you doing?

 

Aeris doesn't get a reply back because Tifa is now at "M.I.X. the flour in the bowl!"

 

Aeris: Okay, while Tifa does the waffles, I believe it's time to select the lucky winner of

" The Aeris Gainsborough Home and Garden Deluxe Sweepstakes!

 

* Audience cheers*

 

Aeris: One very lucky person in this audience will win one date with the cutest guy in the world:

Cloud Strife!

 

* Audience cheers louder*

 

Aeris: Yuffie, please bring me the entries.

 

Yuffie walks onto the stage, looking like she's seen a ghost, with a glass bowl filled with little

Papers. She gives the bowl to Aeris and walks away.

 

Aeris: She must have stage fright. Anyway the winner is.....

 

*Drum roll in background*

 

Aeris... AerisRose?

 

A 13 yr. old girl with short brown hair jumps up from her seat in the audience and walks up to the stage.

 

AerisRose: Oh my god! I won? I get a date with Cloud Strife? Oh my god!

 

Aeris: Cloud, come meet your date!

 

Cloud comes out from the right side of the stage and walks up to where Aeris and AerisRose

Are waiting.

 

AerisRose: Oh my. …* AerisRose passes out. Aeris catches her before she falls to the ground*

 

Aeris puts her in Cloud's arms.

 

Aeris: She's all yours, Cloud!

 

* Cloud walks off the stage with AerisRose.

 

Aeris: Now that that's over with, let's go check back on Tifa.

 

Aeris walks back into the kitchen only to find Tifa dead drunk on the floor.

 

Aeris bends down near Tifa.

 

Aeris: Tifa! How much did you drink?

 

Tifa holds up 6 fingers.

 

Tifa: Only dis (hic) many (hic).

 

Tifa falls into a alcohol induced sleep.

 

Aeris: Oh no! I can't finish the show without a guest star! What am I going to do?

 

Some stranger in the audience: Perhaps I can be of help.

 

Aeris looks up around her: Who said that?

 

All of a sudden Cheap Cheap comes out of the audience as Tifa is being carried away on a stretcher.

 

Cheap Cheap: Can I help you?

 

Aeris: Sure! So Cheap Cheap, what will we be making today?

 

Cheap Cheap: How 'bout some Seafood Cake?

 

Aeris: Perfect!

 

 

So Aeris and Cheap Cheap made the Seafood Cake according to the song.AerisRose and Cloud

Went on their date at none other than the Gold Saucer. And Tifa is now slowly recovering from

Alcohol abuse and is going to weekly AA meetings along with Rude, Reno, and Elena.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

 

The End

 

Aeris: Wait! This isn't over yet!

 

The author: It isn't?

 

Aeris: Of course not! I haven't announced what I'm doing on the next show!

 

*Back in front of the fancy looking house*

 

Aeris: On the next Aeris Gainsborough Home and Garden...

 

* Aeris now standing in a flea market*

 

Aeris: Master Prince Fleaswallow and myself will teach you how to have a successful yard sale!

Even with the weirdest things such as this old decapitated head of Jenova! See you next week!

*Blows kiss* Bye bye everybody!

 

 

The End. Really.

 

 

Author notes: Well lookie here! My first fanfic! I hope you liked it, as some people will probably

Think it's not very funny. Anyway here are some people who need thanked:

 

 

My parents for buying me this computer

 

Imp Mayhem (I got the idea for this from his ad)

 

Frank Verderosa (The only fanfiction I read with Tifa and Cloud, but I'm not going to get into that)

The person who wrote " The Return". (Sniff, that was such a beautiful story!)

 

The person on the Club Squaresoft Fanfic page who wrote " The Last Ancient".

 

Aeris Love Gainsborough (The one who wrote " The Final Prayer."

 

The person who wrote " Lost and Found" (So many people to thank when this is such a little fanfic!)

 

Anybody who has written a good Aeris and Cloud fanfic that I haven't read yet

 

And of course, those great people who brought us the greatest game in the world at Squaresoft.

 

 

Happy Reading!

 

AerisRose

 

Oh, and I almost forgot that stuff about the characters Aeris, Cloud, Yuffie, etc. belong to

Squaresoft.


End file.
